I skipped yesterday

 Because honestly, it was a total crapshow at work. Got there and the parking lot was near empty. That was unusual enough. But our trucks were sitting all over the back lot waiting to unload. Even more unusual. Get in the break room and found out why. First shift got sent home right after their lunch because hey presto! One of the ammonia pipes sprung a bad leak and everything had to be shut down while they fixed the leak and repressurized the pipes and got them refilled. Whoops. And then right after lunch, MY line decided to up and derail itself, which took an hour to fix and get birds running to my half of evis again. We got in today and it was posted to work Friday instead of having it off as usual (we work four ten-hour shifts normally) and I was not happy but made myself think of the overtime money from coming in, albeit unwillingly. By lunch, it had been changed to first shift only. So I have my full weekend plus the Monday holiday off after all, yay!

So here's a funny I found that I have to copy and paste, and then some pictures to share from the eventually defunct FakeBook account.

ACTUAL ANNOUNCEMENTS TAKEN FROM CHURCH BULLETINS

· Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help

· The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

· Coming Up—Theological Open House. We discuss thought-provoking topics. Your opinions are hardly welcome.

· All singles are invited to join us Friday at 7 p.m. for the annual Christmas Sing-alone."

· Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

· Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8:00 p.m. in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

· The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

· Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

· Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

· For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

· Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

· Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

· The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

· The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy."

· This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

· Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

· Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

· Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

· Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, "Put me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.

· Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

· Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.

· Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

· The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

· The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

· The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7:00 p.m. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

· Weight Watchers will meet at 7:00 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

· Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday. Please use the back door.

· This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.

· The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

· The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

· The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

· Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

· Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.

· The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

· Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

· This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

· Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

· The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

· A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the Church Hall. Music will follow.

· At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Those are darned funny!!!

Now for pictures!